Romance, passion, fun, compatibility, attraction?
Well, yes, but deeper than that are the underlying dynamics that you’re born into in your family system.
These dynamics are deeply subconscious. They lie in the background quietly.
For example a woman may find she keeps attracting the same kind of inappropriate partner. The problem is she doesn’t realise that at the beginning while she is in a bubble of romance and love hormones. It’s not until further on in the relationship, past the honeymoon period, does she notice any discord or familiar negative patterns coming out.
Jenny came to me upset that yet another relationship had ended. The last of a string of relationships over several years.
As someone who has 25 years-experience in private practice and a Master of counselling, I could have looked at her beliefs around relationships, her expectations and her language of love or communication style. This may have been a fairly long-term counselling situation.
However, as a Family Constellations practitioner since 2005 I chose Family Constellation therapy because it’s brief, experiential and solution-focused. Requiring very few sessions. This approach locates the underlying relational dynamics she is operating in quickly and also her solutions. Through the process she was able to look at her pattern in the context of her family system. Resolve childhood and present day issues internally, while also acknowledging and processing emotions, all within a session at a time.
This was enough for her to clear the cobwebs of the past and instil a new perspective and approach for potential partners and a new pattern of attraction. She was free-er to choose who she dated, rather than being driven blindly by subconsciously patterns or continuing to be smitten into the same illusions and disappointments of the past. She was able to start a new chapter in her life.
This is a very familiar result for thousands of clients who I worked with in Family Constellations.
Family Constellations is a way of working with relationships that is powerful and effective in working at the roots of a problem.
Family Constellations are available in workshops, private sessions and practitioner Certificate trainings.
More on Relationships HERE
Yildiz Sethi