At this time in our history most of us are conditioned into believing we are self sufficient and autonomous. This is what modern men and women believe is empowering.
What has become apparent is that this is not totally true.
The study of epigentics is showing that we carry much more from our ancestors than we had previously assumed.
Epigentics is showing that trauma, disturbed emotions and patterns are inextricably linked or embedded in the DNA we receive at birth. This means that a person who comes from a particular culture will receive the essence of what has gone before them. Of course this includes love and belonging and also the shocks their family system has experienced particularly those that could not be processed at that time. These may include societal or family trauma, genocide, the effects of war and famine as well as unresolved relational pain. These feelings and shocks appear to reside largely in our blind spots. In our unconscious mind or in what I have come to think of as our generational mind.
While it is true that you are a unique individual, you are also highly relational.
Originally we were born into tribes and formed strong bonds of loyalty to each other. This served a purpose. It served the survival of the tribe and the individuals within it. Being disconnected or excluded from the group would often result in death.
My work with individuals shows repeatedly that such tribal or relational connections are much more important that most people realise. At our core our tribal identity is still pivotal to our health and wellbeing. We are born into families with an intense deep web of loyalties and connections with others. We are deeply linked to all that has gone before us and to people we have never met.
This is how we may be born into a sense of guilt, shame, sadness, anger or sabotage patterns that make no logical sense to the biography of our individual lives. And yet they continue to play out until they are resolved.
Many of us believe that awareness is the answer. I have found that being aware is only one step and does not provide a more fulfilling solution. Awareness is a knowing that is conscious. It does not in itself have the power to resolve the underlying dynamics that operate within us. This involves unconscious, loyalties and conflicts and such elements as emotions, visions and messages that are part of our family system. In many cases attempting to think through such deeply felt issues does not resolve them, as they often require experiential processing. This takes place at deeper levels of the psyche and includes the body, heart and also generational consciousness in order to be resolved and released.
I often have clients who have done much personal development who are frustrated that they have not been able to free themselves from the patterns that bind them from being able to develop and enjoy their life with more freedom. Deeply help patterns appear to be stubborn to resolution by conventional counselling or coaching.
I have been working with Family Constellations since 2005 in holding monthly workshops and private sessions.
Prior to that I was a counsellor psychotherapist and unaware of the effects of the family system on myself and those close to me. I had no idea of the patterns that were unconsciously running in me, and the effects they were having on my wellbeing and relationships. The discovery through Family Constellations was groundbreaking in that it gave me an avenue to come to peace with myself on many levels. From here I was able to more consciously navigate my life. This became a significant crossroad in my life resulting in a radical change in the way I worked with clients. I embraced Family Constellations as a more authentic way of helping others make deep and effective changes in themselves and their lives.
I found that change had to start with me first. I had to go through my own processing within my system to allow space for an arrival to a better place. Only then could this flow out to those around me. Previously my unconscious patterns even with good intentions, were running the show. I was not fully capable of providing a way forward for others and their family systems when I was coming from a place of entanglement and confusion myself.
I was not in the right place to hold a space for the healthy unfolding and resolution in others until I had experienced my own.
It is exciting to be working with Family Constellations at a time when neural science and epigentics are becoming mainstream and educating the public in how genetic memory travels through generations and how the brain is capable of rewiring itself. Rewiring new neural pathways for better feeling, mindset, health and wellbeing.
I look forward to the time when doctors, alternative and traditional health workers refer patients to Family Constellations practitioners as part of a wholistic health practice in knowing that healthily connected individuals are more likely to respond favourably to healing methodologies when they are at peace with themselves and their bloodlines.
Ends Copyright Yildiz Sethi
Yildiz holds Family Constellation workshops in Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney and is available for private sessions and training. www.familyconstellations.com.au.
She is the director of family Constellations P/L
Yildiz is an Australian psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, family constellations facilitator and trainer. She is the innovator of Rapid Core Healing and Emotional Mind Integration and Author. Her latest book is Rapid Core Healing Pathways to Growth and Emotional Healing. www.rapidcorehealingbook.com
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