When people come to see me about their relationship they both most often agree that communication is an issue. Neither of them feel he3ard or understood. As a counsellor in my early days I did follow counselling practices and training in helping each of he couple to express themselves and har each other but found it a frustration process with limiited success for the most part. From my perspective communication is just a symptom of a deeper problem of confusion.
Most often what each party brings with them from their family of origin can be a real problem as it metaphorically sits between so that they can’t see the original partner they once fell in love with. Often the male is not well connected with his father or too connected with his mother or disconnected with both. Often the female is not connected with one or both of her parents too. This leaves each of them out of balance and looking to their partner for what is missing for them. Hence confusion, resentment, anger and miscommunication or disconnection. The good thing is that even though we cannot relive history in reality we can sort it out in our emotional body, we can rewire our mind and brain to something much more healthy and balanced and find new perspectives. It’s not just me saying this as an optimist but this is now backed by the science. Neuroscience and epigenetics.
Family Constellations is a great way of going to the deeper dynamics of what is taking place. Its brief, deep, allows deep realisations, expressions and emotional release so that couples may start again with new perspectives. Of course some couples’ may still separate but now that can do it from anew and respectful perspective and be in a healthier place for their next relationship.
Interesting once this deeper work is done communication is easier to fine tune so that each feel heard and valued.
I have training taking place in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne January, July and September in 2020. This is suitable for existing practitioners and new people entering the field. It will give you the knowledge and skills to hold groups and to work in private sessions in three formats.