Many couples who seek help will say the they don’t know how to communicate with each other or are moving apart from each other.
While both of these claims are valid I would say they are the symptoms only of what is going on.
Communication is words and they come easily between a couple if the deeper dynamics of the relationship are in a good place.
Drifting apart is not feeling connected with the other. This also comes from a deeper place.
If a man has come from a family where little was ever openly discussed or who had many tragic relationships, he will often bring this into his relationship now and won’t know that there is any other way to be. He will be driven by unconscious systemic patterns.
If a woman lost her dad to death or divorce in her childhood she will unconsciously always be seeking him in her relationship and is very likely to pick a man who is not really fully present or available for her. She will be driven by unconscious systemic patterns.
Counselling will deal only with the symptoms of the communication or try to put in strategies to find some common ground. Valuable yes, but insufficient if these deeper issues are not resolved. Further counselling would have got go for months or years to get to the deeper issue issue and then would need to know how to resolve them too.A deep resolution of these deeper issues may never be found.
Family Constellations is a modality that is perfect for couples. Each of the couple can resolve their own relational issues that ar playing out in the relationship and then if necessary deal with any communication problems. Once the major road blocks are dissolved it is amazing how thing fall into place in a healthier way so that the couple can really see and respond to each other better,
Come to do Constellations for your relationship in a workshop or private sessions. Details