Many people tell me that,
“I give too much”, “I can’t say no,” “I always end up supporting others, but they don’t support me,” “I find it hard to receive”
These show me that they have taken on this role in their family system. Often before it was possible to make a conscious decision about what kind of role they would prefer.
Imagine this,
Mum is sad due to her poor connection to her mother, father or both. She has survived and may even have achieved much in her life, but there is a lingering deep sadness about what could have been for her with her parents. She puts on a bright smile and repeatedly tells herself she is going to be a much more loving parent to her own child.
She looks down at her baby in the crib and picks him up and cuddles him. The baby loves to be cuddled, but in the love that flows between them senses Mums deep sadness. From deep inside there is a sense from the child that, even though he can’t yet speak an illusion takes seed with this impulse of, “I love you so much that I’ll carry you and save you from your sadness”.
The baby has from this point onward taken up his role in his family system. He will always be intuitively sensing sadness and takes on this role with his mum and attracts others with similar energies with his deep illusionary subconscious impulse to save people from their sadness. He will do anything to this end with the additional hope that he will be appreciated, seen and heard for his loving and caring nature. Here we have a strong impulse to please operating that is deeply seated in his family systems, generational mind. He may often feel that people take advantage of him.
He grows into an adult with confused boundaries that operate through many of his interactions. His tendency is to give too much in relationships and in work situations.
This operates in his relationships, friendships and also his work place. It has become a deeply foundational ingrained subconscious pattern. So much so that others sense it and may frequently take advantage of him. Over time he may become resentful of feeling used.
Systemic Family Constellations is ideally placed to access systemic patterns with its knowledge and the skills to process them experientially. This takes place in the generational systemic part of the mind, allowing the brain to rewire in a healthier way. In this way healthier boundaries may be re-drawn inwardly.
This way of working may be effective for a wide range of issues such as self-worth, problematic behaviour or emotions and for changing themes or patterns, relationships. Also such issues as, not finding a partner, or suitable partner, feeling excluded or disconnected, blocked to success, addictions and for personal growth.
Systemic Family Constellations is a modality that was created in the 1990’s by the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. It comes from the Humanistic side of psychotherapy. This model of psychotherapy holds the belief that human beings are infinitely resourceful and resilient, with the capacity for recover, resetting, growth and transformation. It is a psycho- spiritual, holistic approach that generally does not label or diagnose, but rather seeks to locate the cause of the symptoms or patterns that people carry. Constellation therapy provides the theory that is transposed to practice, in brief, experiential processing.
Family Constellations is a unique psychotherapeutic model in providing a framework of unique knowledge and processing techniques and skills to access the cause of a symptom or issue. This works works foundationally within human development to assist in re-orientating our inner world towards wellness. A wellness that radiates through how we feel and interact with the world.
This is a stand-alone therapeutic model with a unique approach for working with the mind, heart and soul in a wide range of struggles that we face. With the human requirements for love and connection required for wholeness and wellness. Knowing that symptoms and dysfunctions arise when this is absent.
Family Constellations’ therapy provides a space where individuals can tap into ancestral (generational) energy in the environment around DNA. Such energy and has the capacity to switch selective genes on or off. This is discussed in current Epigenetics research. Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms by Yehuda and Lehrner In the World of Psychiatry Details
This may take place in private sessions in-person or online or workshop settings.
Family Constellation therapy may take place in private sessions in person and online or workshops and online Certificate Facilitator training. Details
In my workshops you may elect to pay a higher price to have a constellation or a lower price to come as an observer or representative.
This is a great opportunity to experience this process.