Why can't I attract a partner?

Why can’t I attract a partner?

People often ask  – why can’t I attract a partner Or why can’t I attract a long term partner?

We need to:

  • Look at you in context of your family system with a family constellations as a first step. This helps to resolve any blocks or issues here so you are free psychologically and emotionally to attract and make space for a partner.
  • Be able to sustain relationships
  • Look at previous partner(s)
  • Make sure you are emotionally available
  • Be able to fulfil your role as partner
  • etc

Family Constellations is ideal for this.

You may be seeing a counsellor or a coach to help with the issue of not being able to find a partner.


Nothing seems to be working. The problem persists after trying different things.

Family Constellations shows what the issue may be and helps you to resolve it.

Family Constellations shows what the issue may be and helps you to resolve it.

We may be seeing a counsellor to help us with these issues.


Nothing seems to be working. We still can’t attract a partner.

Family Constellations show what the issue may be and helps you to resolve it.

Example of a woman asking “why can’t I attract a partner” in a workshop

A woman (Jane) came to a family constellation workshop and asked “why can’t I attract a partner”. She said she had been married and was now divorced. Since her divorce she has had very few romantic dates and most of the time had been on her own. She had divorced over 10 years ago and now felt that this question was really upsetting her and she need to resolve it and move forward in her life with a partner.

The Family Constellation

We asked her to put her up her parents and herself and her ex-husband (Paul).

Her father was looking away out of the constellation. She was looking at her father and said she was depressed and felt heavy. Paul was in a corner looking away.

Her father had never been present and Yildiz resolved the issue by carrying out a few processes. Jane was able to accept her father and he was now looking at her. Jane now felt connected with her father.

Yildiz then did a spiritual divorce with Paul and Jane was able to let him go.

Yildiz then put up a potential partner. Jane was now more eager to go into a relationship.

Jane phoned us a month letter and said she was  seeing two men and felt that she was able to attract partners.

Systemic issue

Family Constellations is a systemic approach that can show you what you already know, but don’t know you know.

Systemic means that you have the issue, your parents may have the same issue, your grandparents may have had the same issue and so on through your family system.

Your blind spots and your unconscious patterning and also solutions.
In relationships – Family Constellations shows quickly what the issues are.  Then the therapist can help you  to resolve the issue.

Yildiz is highly trained and experienced therapist and can help people to pinpoint the issue. This then allows you the go forward and be open to  new realtionships.

Family Constellations and epigenetics

There is no doubt that most of us are born into loving families. Many of us are not planned and yet were welcomed and given what we need to grow up but may feel disconnected, unwanted and misunderstood.

This is also so for your parents and grandparents and so it goes on.

The Family Constellation process is backed up by the latest studies in epigenetics in showing that it is not only DNA that is passed on in family systems but also emotional, ecological and trauma content as well as many positive elements.

Why can’t I attract a partner?

Family Constellations is a brief experiential process that may be of great assistance in allowing you to step into your gender and adulthood in a healthy way so you can be the best you can be as human being and parent or partner. Family Constellations allows you to make space for your partner accept them as they are.

why can't I attract a partner
Why can't I attract a partner