Family Constellations

Why can’t I get a partner

A couple came to a constellation workshop saying that they wanted to work on their relationship. The woman was ready to leave. They had been married for many years and had two children. In setting them up in the constellation with representatives from the group couple set themselves up both looking away from each other into the distance. The man’s father had lost his whole family in the war. The man was asked to set up his parents. He put his father almost out of the room looking away and his mother very close to him. 

The woman’s representatives were asked to sit while I worked with the man’s family. 

The constellation proceeded and the representative for his father was able to express his horror and grief at what had happened and was eventually connected with his lost family and able to see with his son and grandson (present day man) for the first time. The man felt emotional but greatly relieved when all the men came together and acknowledged each other and their shared fate.

Later the woman was able to look at her situation in setting up her parents. She set up her mother facing her and her father a long way away also looking away. 

Her parents had separated when she was very young and not long after her father had committed suicide. The rest of the constellation involved expression of thoughts feelings and healing sentences that although were very emotional were very touching and gratifying as well.

The couple recognised their common grief and how perfect they were for each other and are doing well in their relationship now. Their longing and tragedies from their past were very much present for each of them. The process assisted them in seeing this and start the process of letting it go so they could be more in the present with each other and their children.

As a counsellor and psychotherapists and couples counsellor I know that before I did Family Constellations it was impossible by using talk therapies to reach the depths of systemic experience that people carry into their lives. Further I didn’t have the tools to facilitate emotional release and psychological change in the way it is possible to do in a constellation process.

Constellations are available in Workshops and  Private sessions and you may become a facilitator through training in Brisbane Sydney and Melbourne.