Family Constellations

Power in Speaking Out on Sexual Misconduct. Yildiz Sethi


There is no doubt its time for women to speak out on sexual misconduct not only in the workplace but in daily life. Speaking out is a powerful and appropriate response that requires courage and clarity in giving back the guilt and shame to the perpetrators involved and a society that condones silence.

 

I know there are many men out there who cringe at how women are treated by their male colleagues who may also feel the need to speak up. We welcome your support at this time.

 

Speaking out is a response to the symptoms of patriarchy involving a deeply felt entitlement that still thrives in modern society forty years after women of the seventies burned their bras as a symbol of emancipation. There are still few women in positions of power and women continue to be judged in a way that does not take place with men, on their gender qualities and appearance.

 

The main problem as I see it is that women are not given a place to be who and how they are, that is of equal value. Present day women continue to be conditioned into playing roles of subservience. This includes navigating a web of unspoken rules where women are seduced into attempt to sooth their feminine insecurities around not being accepted or good enough by stroking the egos of men.

 

It’s a fact that its still not cool for women to show intelligence or capability in fields where men operate. There are few organisations where male ego, high testosterone levels and loyalty to the boys club may be put aside in favour of sound judgment based on merit and justice in providing a level playing field for both men and women.

 

Speaking out is a first step. It is action to let men know that what is taking place is not OK and changes need to be made.

 

But what of the women? Being heard has value but what do they do with their feelings, thoughts and trauma? Many may be advised to go to counselling, self-help groups or forums for sharing and support.

 

I have been working with victims of sexual abuse for many years. These consist of mainly women and some men, many of whom have received extensive counselling or long term involvement with self-help groups who have remained victimised and traumatised by what happened and consider themselves survivors of their abuse, often years later. They have not moved on.

 

Through my work I know that the incidence of sexual abuse is far larger than is reported. Many of my clients have not and prefer not to disclose or report sexual misconduct due to the shame and guilt they feel at being its victim and the fear of not being believed or receiving further ridicule. They don’t trust a justice system that is run primarily by men over seeing mainly male perpetrators.

 

I have developed a way of enabling recovery from sexual misconduct and abuse in all its shades that is brief, non-traumatising, sensitive, respectful and effective in only a few sessions. In this approach speaking out is a first step, releasing pent up emotions comes next and then offloading guilt and shame and reaffirming clear boundaries and taking back autonomy and dignity within is the average session sequence. The process is designed to avoid retraumatisation. This is a process where people come out of victimhood, recover their dignity and no longer hold shame or guilt and move forward in their lives in a more purposeful way in only a few sessions for most people. This is EMI Emotional Mind Integration and Family Constellations. This is presented in the book Rapid Core Healing (2016)

 

The power games we see in organisations are also present in the dynamics between couples and in families and play a large part in providing role models for children to aspire to. What children experience at home is often reaffirmed in education, particularly in same sex schooling and the media and is what they take out into the world. In this men need to step up and take responsibility for themselves in their role as fathers and husbands and women need to step up in solidarity with each other in insisting on equality and dignity across all fields of life: Personal and professional. Yin with Yang. Men and women complimenting each other and glorious in their own way. There is no need to put the other down due to insecurities and fear. Such families can provide real change for the next generation.

 

I believe we are at a crossroads where we can take stock of where were at and make the changes not only to the law, the court system, family or society, but also in our hearts and minds as human beings, fathers and mothers.
We need to upholding the right for women to take their place fully in society and this includes dismantling glass ceilings and the entitlement of mens’ networks to shut women out and stop them from developing their potential and allow them to fulfil their role as feminine beings. I visualise a time where women have the right to be who they ar with intelligence and pride and to share their sensuality only with those they choose. This is a human right.

 

Ends

 

Yildiz is passionate about finding and creating what works to assist people in recovery and growth from trauma. She knows as a person in private practice she is limited in how many people she can treat and so she is providing training so that her methodologies are accessible to a greater proportion of the population for healing and the speedy recovery of a wide range of issues including trauma and sexual abuse.

 

Yildiz is holding a training in EMI on 27-29 Nov 2017

EMI Training

 

And a training in Family Constellations on 3-11 January 2018

Family Constellations Training

Yildiz is the founder of two psychotherapies, a psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

 

Yildiz is available for professional development in mental health, trauma and training organisations.

 

Organisations involved in training or growth interested in training courses of Family Constellations, Rapid Core healing or Emotional Mind Integration courses or applications may contact her on yildiz@yildizsethi.com 0412 172 30

These ideas are presented in Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016) Yildiz Sethi available from Amazon or www.rapidcorehealingbook.com.au

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com. Family Constellations Pty Ltd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recovery after the Truth and Justice Royal Commission on Sexual abuse

Focus on Healing following the Truth and Justice Royal Commission into Sexual Abuse copyright Yildiz Sethi

 

The Truth and Justice Royal Commission into Sexual abuse is a powerful step in shining a light on what happens when we allow any organisation to become a moral and unfettered law unto itself in the name of religion, profit or so called higher powers. I applaud the unveiling of ‘in-house’ codes of behaviour where turning a ‘blind eye’ to dirty secrets is normalised into common practice.

 

The commission shows how a culture of loyalties, entitlement and corruption can fester in cloistered communities. Places where the natural functions of sexual desire are seen as dirty and inappropriate for those who follow Catholic or other devotion paths. In these movements natural sexuality is repressed with nowhere to go other than frustration, self loathing or perversity for some.

 

In these situations lie covers lie until turning back is too much of a step-down for the inflated egos of such organisations to contemplate.

 

A silent moral code was developed out of vested interests, outdated beliefs, depraved morals and religious power that remained unchecked by current societal standards. This became the rationale for putting the face of the church first and children and families last.

 

But what of the abused children, mums, dads and grandparents who have been cut adrift? Lives ruined.

 

What is being done about them?

 

There is no doubt that being heard and believed can be helpful and compensation can provide material comforts or pay for much needed services. But this is only the first step. Much more is needed not only to compensate for wrong doing or manage symptoms, but to aid recovery.

 

Such abuse shatters people in many ways.

 

It destroys faith in oneself, the system and religion. Causes the victim to suffer alone due to the shame they carry. Shame at the nature of the abuse itself and why they were singled out for it and for not being able to protect themselves, speak up or bring the perpetrators to justice. Shame is a powerful force.

 

In addition there is often the shame of secrecy in not disclosing to family due to the disbelief and turmoil it would cause. They are often highly aware of the trust and faith their families had in believing their children were receiving a safe and values-based education and ignorant of the hidden predatory nature of some within the organisation.

 

I do feel sorry for the clergy who had nothing to do with this betrayal because they too have been let down by the actions of a few who have been upheld by a corrupt system. They too are unjustly smeared by the disgrace.

 

The problem is the damage does not stop at the ones who were abused. The trauma of abuse sets up an intense range of conflicting feelings, thoughts and disturbances. Sometimes the abused person is so disturbed it spills out into abuse of others. Many victims of abuse self medicate their pain with substances such as drugs or alcohol and many become mentally ill. Their careers are frequently hard to maintain, family break up is common and many victims live a troubled life overall.

 

Sexual abuse is a crime that goes largely unreported. I know this because many of my clients come wanting help in recovery from unreported sexual abuse. Often unreported due to the feelings of shame and a lack of confidence in the justice system.

 

Such trauma can leave a destructive trail for many generations into the future: Broken parents unable to parent adequately and so the cycle continues. The consequences of abuse are vast.

 

Unfortunately there is a belief that significant recovery from sexual abuse is not possible. I have found this to be untrue, as I have facilitated countless people in putting their lives together in a meaningful ways in their recovery. Assisted them in putting the past where is needs to be, so they don’t have to consider themselves as worthless, broken or damaged goods any more. Enabled them to find their resources and create more so they can engage in life.

 

Traditionally, abused people are offered counselling. In my experience of working therapeutically over seventeen years, I have found that while there may be value in being heard this can also be retraumatizing. Traditional counselling, self help groups and management of symptoms often lead to individuals remaining victims of abuse, even many years later .

 

There is a better way.

 

As a psychotherapist I have found that going through what happened in a traumatic incident in detail unhelpful towards recovery. This is explained fully in my book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to Growth and emotional healing (2016).

 

Incest is sexual abuse that runs through family systems. The shame and secrecy of it drives the abuse compulsions. Constellations show how such compulsions can lose their power through bringing them into light. This is the most powerful and effective way of resolving systemic sexual abuse patterns for. The Family Constellation goes deep to allow a solution to arise and order to be restored to the system so that the family members in the present can find their best place with it and move on with more freedom.
For seemingly non-systemic abuse that appears to start in the present I have developed a way of working with the trauma of sexual abuse called EMI (Emotional Mind Integration) that not only promotes survival, but also allows people to find healthier resolutions in their mind and heart. EMI is a powerful neuro-trance psychotherapy. The EMI process makes it possible to put the past behind them for the most part and move on in a productive way with more peace.

 

EMI presents a new way of viewing the mind as a range of emotional mind states. The modality locates disturbed or traumatised emotional mind states through specific neural pathways. This is an accurate, efficient and effective methodology that is highly sensitive to individual needs. The process is designed to locate the original event, find a suitable resolution through an EMI healing pathway and complete with integration within each session. This is not retraumatizing. Rather, it is relieving. In this way only a few sessions are required to enable a sexual abuse victim to move on with their life. This is a brief therapeutic approach.

 

The next Family Constellation training takes place in January 2018 Details

The next EMI Emotional Mind Integration training takes place in September 2017 Details

I have a vision of educating children into knowing that they never have to suffer being touched or used for the sexual gratification of adults under any circumstance. There are deeply integrated systems connecting education, justice and psychotherapeutic interventions with individuals, families and the wider public. Everyone knows where to go with the confidence of a fair hearing, so that such breaches and betrayals do not go unnoticed. No organisations are above the law and the societal moral codes of decency ensure children are free to be children and to grow into health open-hearted adults who have the potential to live rewarding lives.

 

 

Ends

 

The next Emotional Mind Integration (EMI) training starts on 11 September 2017 Details www.emotionalmindintegration.com

The next Family Constellation training starts on 2 January 2018 Details http://familyconstellations.com.au/training_overview/

 

Yildiz welcomes enquiries from organisations involved in professional training

in mental health and recovery from trauma and sexual abuse related issues.

 

Yildiz is a Brisbane psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, family constellations facilitator and trainer, innovator of Rapid Core Healing and Emotional Mind Integration and Author. She is an educator/trainer and author of three books. She is available for sessions and training. Yildiz travells nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

Her latest book is Rapid Core Healing Pathways to Growth and Emotional Healing. (2016)  www.rapidcorehealingbook.com.au

 

She may be contacted on yildiz@yildizsethi.com. +61 412 172 300

 

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in

what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com.

Book in NOW for a workshop or private sessions or contact me to discuss your needs. 0412 172 300 or EMI Training Family Constellations Training Contact

 +61 412 172 300

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relationships matter for Healthy Self Esteem

 

Relationships matter because we are social beings. We are born into families, culture and society and we thrive on human connection..

And yet we are individuals. We live a combination of both the personal and social aspects of ourselves simultaneously.

Our entry into the world is our first experience of others and provides an initial impression of who we are through their eyes. Through this we form an image or feeling of who we are and this forms a deep psychological imprint from which self worth arises.

Children are egocentric in nature, in the way they think the world revolves around them. This means they easily assume the way people respond, behave or treat them is because of them. They assume they are the sole cause of responses in others.

If our parents are delighted to have us in their lives, we interpret this as being loved. We feel valued.

If our parents are going through difficult times or are distant, cool, sad or angry we take this on board too. We interpret this as them not being happy with us and we don’t feel valued. This may lead to seeking approval throughout life of partners, friends and colleagues.

The problem is if these early bonds are not formed well we carry them into adulthood.  We take this evaluation of ourselves into the world or feel responsible for the feelings of others. Feel guilty, sad or angry for no apparent reason. In my experience this is the basis of most self-esteem issues.

Self esteem is the core foundation for worthiness. Once we know this it is easy to see how our sense of worthiness affects our choices in relationships, career, success and wellbeing.

This is important for children and parents alike. As parents most of us love our children deeply and are unaware of what we carry in terms of emotional burdens and its affect on them, even with the best of intentions.

Feelings such as sadness are easily passed through generations via relational bonds. It’s easy to see how a sad mother rears a sad child and down the track a sad grandchild emerges.

This is a family system problem and yet most counsellors and psychotherapists are trained in personal therapies only that perceive clients as isolated beings on the whole. Most approaches are not equipped to look at the relational aspects of the human condition unless they are relationship or family therapies. Because of this many therapists feel the need to do further training in relationships or family therapies to spread their portfolio of offerings to clients.. Unfortunately each style of therapy is separate and often cones from a different philosophy and uses different terminologies which can be confusing for the client.

Hence we have a psychotherapy culture that is striated, resulting in therapists either doing endless training in different modalities to manage a range of client issues or sending their clients to specialists in specific areas..

While psychotherapy outcomes may indeed include encouraging personal responsibility and autonomy for their clients, in discovering who they are and how they perceive the world, the affects of family of origin bonding are often not addressed and remain unresolved.

If how we feel about ourselves is due to our early bonding or family patterns, this is not a purely personal problem and is likely to be unresolved if treated with individual psychotherapy when the family system is the fundamental issue.

Seeing many psychotherapy clients over 17 years I have noticed that individual approaches are unhelpful for deeper issues and particularly for those that have their roots in the family system.

My discovery of Family Constellations was a revelation in showing me another way to assist people in finding a better place with their family of origin and hence a better place within which results in higher self-esteem. More importantly the Family Constellation process is experiential and brief rather than lasting for months or years.

I have trained in many psychotherapy approaches including hypnotherapy and NLP and find value in each of them. However for those people who have spent their lives receiving psychotherapy or personal development who have not found a solution to their issue of (for example) poor self esteem, dealing with it in the context of the family system with the modality Family Constellations is often a powerful solution.

I look forward to a time where Family Constellations is as popular here as in Germany, Spain and South America where groups and private sessions take place in many suburbs and is embraced by the community; parents, children and grandparents alike as a practical solution to life issues.

I see a world where a more unified approach to counselling and psychotherapy is common place so as to work with both the personal and the family system issues that we carry in a unified and wholistic way.

I am excited to have developed the modality Rapid Core Healing which is presented in my book to be launched on 26 May in Brisbane Australia. The modality is presented with case studies and transcripts showing how it may be used by ‘people who help people’ in a seamless wholistic way for the benefit of all.

Free Offer
Receive a chapter from Rapid Core Healing Free by contacting me on yildiz@yildizsethi.com

Book Launch 26 May 2017 Brisbane Qld  contact 0412 172 300 for details
www.rapidcorehealingbook.com.au

Yildiz is the founder of two psychotherapies, a psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

Organisations involved in training or growth interested in training courses of Family Constellations, Rapid Core healing or Emotional Mind Integration courses or applications may contact me on yildiz@yildizsethi.com

These ideas are presented in her book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016)

Contact yildiz@yildizsethi.com   +61412 172 300

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com.

More issues

 

 

 

Family Constellations couples help

Over many years I have seen many couples through my work. They are all unique, however there are some themes.

All relationships go through highs and lows and those that remain loving and strong develop ways of maintaining respect,  fun and resilience.

Janet and John have two young children.
Janet is the eldest of her siblings. Her mother became disabled and so she took on a parenting role for the family. In adulthood she married John who came from a family who experienced a series of challenges. He was a middle child who was often over looked in his family. He had low confidence.

Initially the relationship went well but when they came to see me 10 tears later Janet was exhausted, angry and depressed. John was frustrated and confused. Their sex life was almost non existent.
In looking at their relationship through a constellation it was clear that Janet was wearing the pants in the family. In the relationship she had the better job and was doing well in her career while John was struggling in his work.

Janet constellation helped her find a place as a child of her parents and to give up her role of over giving to others.

John’s constellation assisted him in finding his place as the middle child and connecting with his parents in a way that the hadn’t done in his childhood.He was able to connect with their love. He was connected to the his male ancestry to raise his self esteem.

In the couple constellation Janet was invited to allow John to take his role in the family. Janet found this difficult as she had been used to taking this role although taking this main role as well as staying on top of her career and looking after the children had resulted in a great deal of resentment and anger towards John. The constellation had invited John to step up in his role in the relationship.This releases janet but also challenged her to step back in allowing him to take his role. This is both liberating and challenging for each of he couple.

This formed the basis of changing the dynamics between them so they could recreate a more equal and resilient.

This is just one of many possible dynamics of relationships.

Constellations are appropriate for those who cannot find partner or those who keep attracting unsuitable partners.

More issues

Book in NOW for a workshop or private sessions or contact me to discuss your needs. 0412 172 300 or EMI Training Family Constellations Training Contact

 +61 412 172 300

Couples Dynamics 1

Over many years I have seen many couples through my work. They are all unique, however there are some themes.

All relationships go through highs and lows and those that remain loving and strong develop ways of maintaining respect,  fun and resilience.

Janet and John have two young children.
Janet is the eldest of her siblings. Her mother became disabled and so she took on a parenting role for the family. In adulthood she married John who came from a family who experienced a series of challenges. He was a middle child who was often over looked in his family. He had low confidence.

Initially the relationship went well but when they came to see me 10 tears later Janet was exhausted, angry and depressed. John was frustrated and confused. Their sex life was almost non existent.
In looking at their relationship through a constellation it was clear that Janet was wearing the pants in the family. In the relationship she had the better job and was doing well in her career while John was struggling in his work.

Janet constellation helped her find a place as a child of her parents and to give up her role of over giving to others.

John’s constellation assisted him in finding his place as the middle child and connecting with his parents in a way that the hadn’t done in his childhood.He was able to connect with their love. He was connected to the his male ancestry to raise his self esteem.

In the couple constellation Janet was invited to allow John to take his role in the family. Janet found this difficult as she had been used to taking this role although taking this main role as well as staying on top of her career and looking after the children had resulted in a great deal of resentment and anger towards John. The constellation had invited John to step up in his role in the relationship.This releases janet but also challenged her to step back in allowing him to take his role. This is both liberating and challenging for each of he couple.

This formed the basis of changing the dynamics between them so they could recreate a more equal and resilient.

This is just one of many possible dynamics of relationships.

Constellations are appropriate for those who cannot find partner or those who keep attracting unsuitable partners.

More issues

Don’t be a Mini-psychologist, be a great counsellor Yildiz Sethi

Find a point of difference

Family Constellations

It’s time for clinical professional counsellors, psychotherapists and hypnotherapists to stand up to be counted as professionals in our own right. I am a proud counsellor and hypnotherapist. I am proud of the tradition of counselling and its role in helping and healing. I have long been frustrated at the lack of recognition for our great profession. And worse now, is the trend toward mental health training and become something other than what we are.

Yes, the lack of Medicare rebate is an issue for us. But I see a deeper problem. How can we ask the medical system to give us legitimacy, when we haven’t given it to ourselves?

The time has come to better understand how to stand in the great gifts and uniqueness of our profession. Something that will be lost in trying to look like everyone else.

We are no longer a profession with a low level of education. Many have degrees, masters and PhDs, yet we remain excluded from the medical model (psychologists, doctors and psychiatrists) and unable to offer Medicare rebates. The medical model deals with mental health issues diagnosed by the diagnostic book DSM5 along with medication.

How long do we remain respectfully knocking at the door?

In a desperate attempt to gain credibility there has been a move by counselling associations ACA (Australian Counselling Association) and PACFA (Psychotherapists and Counselling Federation of Australia) to encourage members into mental health training.

I am concerned this is an attempt to transform counsellors and psychotherapists into ‘pseudo psychologists’ through adopting psychological terminology, methodology and diagnostics.

This is worrying.

In following this path, counsellors who adopt the medical model approach, put aside their valuable counselling and psychotherapy theory and practice. But no matter how much we mimic psychologists; we remain excluded from the Medicare rebate scheme. We become ‘mini psychologists’ with no real credibility and even worse, lose the valuable knowledge we have as alternative practitioners in the field.

Rather than mimic, let’s find a better way to be of service as professionals. It’s time for us to change our profile and position ourselves in offering services that are unique and of value to the public.

The medical model we are being urged towards consists of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) in conjunction with medication to control symptoms. It’s important to understand a bit of its history and question its legitimacy.

CBT dates back to the 1960s. It was hailed as revolutionary compared to earlier Freudian and psychodynamic approaches. Freudian therapy was expensive and popular with the wealthy. In comparison, CBT was lauded as the scientific evidence-based approach and as such, appropriate for the public.

However, recent critiques of psychology research shows it mostly takes place in a closed, prescribed and preordained manner, rather than the open enquiry of true scientific process.

CBT is often the only approach researched whatsoever. It’s surprising that other legitimate modalities are typically excluded. I don’t see an honest attempt to source current ‘best practice.’ And this occurs in an environment where the co-dependent cohorts of CBT and the pharmaceutical industry remain intact as the foundations of the medical model.

Many effective approaches – in alignment with current discoveries in neuroscience – are going unnoticed and un-researched. Why is this? Because they are not CBT?

While we in the counselling profession have been stuck in our dilemma of exclusion, the coaching and personal development industry have stepped in. People who don’t wish to be aligned with the medical model or viewed as ‘sick’ now consult with a coach rather than approach the now-stigmatized counselling profession. See The Big Taboo. Link https://www.linkedin.com/post/edit/big-taboo-yildiz-sethi

We do not have to accept being stuck in the same time-warp as the medical model.

We are free to move on if we change our mind-set. Exert our professionalism and our points of difference.

Let’s be creative and embrace innovation and high quality professional development to improve and fine-tune what we offer to our clients in being effective. There have been considerable advancements in psychotherapy philosophy and practice as a result of neuroscience and epigenetics research. Let’s come out from below the radar of the mental health model and bring these discoveries with us.

I took on the challenge of innovating in the fertile climate of evolving science and my own evidence, to become the most effective practitioner I could be. I’m imagining a world where every counsellor does this in their own way, and that we learn from one another too.

I was able to create two psychotherapy modalities, which fuse the best of the past and present in psychotherapy, neuroscience, epigenetics and trance work.

I present this in my latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to Growth and Emotional Healing. (2016) In this I present the new modality RCH (Rapid Core Healing) that includes Family Constellations and EMI (Emotional Mind Integration) in a unified wholistic approach.

It is rapid, locating core issues and providing naturally occurring healing pathways to recovery. It is a body-sensed based approach dealing with the mind, body and spirit in a revolutionary way that transformed the way I work as a therapist. I am able to offer short-term results for most in 3-5 sessions for a wide range of issues. This includes anxiety, depression, panic attacks, self-esteem, and inner conflict, relationships, sexual abuse and trauma related issues.

I have no problem telling potential clients if they ask, I am not a psychologist and don’t offer Medicare rebates. I swiftly follow this with my experience of the benefits of the approaches I offer, and there are many. In short I emphasize my point of difference. There is no point in attempting to compete with psychologists.

I am grateful I didn’t become a psychologist, as this would have constricted me in an outdated medical model. I celebrate my freedom to stay up-to-date with latest developments in the field and create more effective ways of working.

There is a place between the medical model and personal development that counselling and psychotherapy can legitimately occupy. We work effectively with depression, anxiety, lifestyle, wellbeing and relationship issues. If we gain the skills and knowledge to work most effectively with our clients and have the courage to develop the healthy pride required to take our place, we will create an alternate and exciting future for our profession.

Stop apologizing for not being a psychologist able to offer Medicare rebates. Do charge appropriately for your education, experience, knowledge and effectiveness in facilitating positive change.

I call on you to find your point of difference. Embrace it, glorify it, and enjoy the freedom it offers. Give yourself permission to stand tall, grow and expand your knowledge and have a thriving practice. Find what works and become really effective at what you offer. Find your niche and hone it.

I have a vision of the professions of counselling, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy taking their place between the medical model and personal development. We’d offer highly effective services to the public, free of stigma and full of hope, consisting of speedy effective pathways to recovery. These ideas are presented in my book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016).

Lets start a discussion on this subject.

Yildiz is a proud counsellor/psychotherapist: the founder of two psychotherapies, a clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

Organizations involved in training or growth interested in courses or applications may contact her.

Contact yildiz@yildizsethi.com

0412 172 300

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com.

 

 

 

PR Is it possible to Clear your genetic imprint for yourself AND your children?

PR 8 March 1917

“The personal development industry has blown out over recent years. It provides a range of forums to raise awareness and growth and offers pathways to wellness and success. These appeal to men and women who are focused on fulfilling their potential” said personal development specialist.

 

Yildiz said, “The latest developments in epigentics show that we are influenced by what we inherit and in turn have an effect on future generations.”

 

“There is no doubt parent-child relationships are fundamental in influencing our development. They contribute to how we feel, who we become and how we interact with others.

 

“They affect how we present ourselves in the world. It is here our wounding may be perpetuated through generations.”

 

“Many of us vow to do a better job than our parents but go overboard in our zeal to over compensate and create unintentional effects. This is also problematic.”

 

“There is no such thing as perfect and the middle ground of ‘good enough’ is plenty, as this has more balance and leaves room for growth.”

 

“The dynamics from family influences become the ‘blue print’ from which we operate in all areas of life.”

 

“However, when ‘disordered’ they entangle and restrict us. This often feels like a weight and may be experienced as emotional or psychological burdens, blocks or sabotage. When in ‘Good Order’ they support us”

 

“In modern societies many of us think of ourselves as individuals that are self determining entities. In reality this is not totally honest, as we don’t have the whole picture.”

 

“We are individuals, yes, but also the product of all that has gone before us in our family systems. “

 

“In our family systems we receive love and nurturing. But we also receive unresolved, disturbed senses coming from our connections with our forefathers and mothers. These are unconscious for the most part and may be considered as systemic blocks.”

 

“Such patterns can’t be resolved by affirmations, attempting to change behaviour, willpower or positive thinking alone. This is why coaching, personal development or counselling are insufficient to deal with them effectively. “

 

“Instead a systemic process is better equipped to deal with such patterns. The process of Family Constellations is effective at resolving systemic blocks. “

 

“Systemic Constellations is a process that resolves the underlying dynamics that holds us back.”

 

“The Constellation process originates in Germany and is becoming recognised world-wide as an effective way of resolving systemic blocks,. This often requires one session and may take place in a group process or private session.”

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“Through systemic resolutions it is possible to re-sett the ‘blue print’ of how we operate in life. A new inner world is formed from which new possibilities may arise.”

 

“From an epigentic perspective this provides the opportunity to heal personal wounds for yourself and pass on a clearer genetic ‘blue-print’ to your children.”

 

Yildiz presents these ideas in her book Rapid Core Healing Pathways ot growth and Emotional Healing (2016) Available from Amazon or www.rapidcorehealingbook.com

 

Ends

 

Yildiz Sethi has been running Family Constellations workshops and private sessions since 2005 and offers training. For more information see www.familyconstellations.com.au

 

Yildiz is the founder of two psychotherapies, a clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

 

Organisations involved in training or growth interested in courses or applications may contact me on yildiz@yildizsethi.com

 

Contact yildiz@yildizsethi.com

 

0412 172 300

 

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it possible to Clear your genetic imprint for yourself AND your children?

The personal development industry has blown out over recent years. It provides a range of forums to raise awareness and growth and offers pathways to wellness and success. These appeal to men and women who are focused on fulfilling their potential.

The latest developments in epigentics show that we are both influenced by what we inherit and in turn have an effect on future generations.

If this is so, how can we clear our imprint for ourselves in a way that is beneficial not only for ourselves but also our children?

We are all born through complex family systems and often into imperfect situations.

If our parents were confused, needy or damaged we are likely to harbour dysfunction and woundings from our upbringing.

There is no doubt parent-child relationships are fundamental in influencing our development. They contribute to how we feel, who we become and how we interact with others. In particular with loved ones. Partners, lovers and children. They affect how we present ourselves in the world. It is here our wounding may be perpetuated through generations.

I offer a scenario of how this takes place.

Bob came home from a war with the trauma of violence, guilt and loss. He had witnessed and been a perpetrator of violence. This greatly affected him and how he related to those around him, in particular, his wife and son Peter. On his return he was unrecognisable as the easy loving man they remembered.

Peter experienced a distant, violent and drunken father. This had an impact on him as experiences of disappointment, disconnection and trauma became part of his daily life. Further he had unresolved grief over the loss of a father he’d loved.

This was a powerful influence on his development.

In adulthood Peter attempted to create the kind of loving environment he’d wanted for himself, for the lives of his children. However, his wounding was still alive and regardless of his efforts to overcome it, he couldn’t be the balanced loving parent he so wished to be.

In truth Peter’s children may have experienced him as moody or ‘absent’ much like his own father, or overly anxious in his efforts to compensate for what he didn’t get for himself.

Both may be problematic.

The children may fail to see the source of their father’s wounding in that he’s has had a more fortunate life than his tragic war-torn father. They may not be aware of the invisible wounding still alive in him.

Of course children just want a happy, balanced and loving father, and parents mostly do the best they can with what they have and what they know. And so it continues.

Here we see how dysfunction may be generated and maintained.

There is no doubt many of us (including me) vowed to be very different to our parents in an attempt to provide a better experience for our children. However in our zeal, we may swing to the opposite and create other unintentional affects. This is because swinging from one extreme to the other is still off-balance and often problematic.

As a young mother with my own wounding and confusion I endeavoured to be a very different parent. In this I went overboard in attempting to give my children everything. Too much and accompanied with an anxiety to be perfect.

This was unrealistic and it had an affect.

I now know that there is no such thing as perfect and the middle ground of ‘good enough’ is plenty, as this is more balanced and leaves room for growth.

In truth giving too much can be equally as damaging as giving too little. Too much may rob our children of the value of self-esteem and resilience. These are qualities gained from finding their own way in the world.

The dynamics from family influences become the ‘blue print’ from which we operate in all areas of life. When they are in ‘good order’ they nurture us.

However, when ‘disordered’ they entangle and restrict us. This often feels like a weight and may be experienced as emotional or psychological burdens, blocks or self-sabotage.

These stop us from being complete.

In modern societies many of us think of ourselves as individuals that are self determining entities. In reality this is not totally honest, as we don’t have the whole picture. .

We are individuals, yes, but also the product of all that has gone before us in our family systems.

In our family systems we receive love and nurturing. But we also receive unresolved, disturbed senses coming from our connections with our forefathers and mothers. These are unconscious for the most part and are may be considered as systemic blocks.

How do you know you have a systemic block?

If you have been aware of a pattern that makes no sense in your biography such as a feeling or a pattern. It may be a systemic block. If you’ve always been aware of self-sabotage behaviour and repeating family patterns, but regardless of trying everything to resolve them, they persist; they are likely to be systemic. Such patterns can’t be resolved by affirmations, changing behaviour, willpower or positive thinking alone. This is why coaching, personal development or counselling are insufficient to deal with them effectively.

Instead a systemic process is better equipped to deal with such presentations. The process of Family Constellations is effective at resolving systemic blocks.

Systemic Constellations is a process that resolves the underlying dynamics that hold us back in a powerful, brief and experiential way. This allows us to come out of entanglements with the past and in a respectful manner for all concerned. This is appropriate for relationship, success and wellness.

The Constellation process originates in Germany and is popular in Spanish speaking cultures. It is becoming recognised world-wide as an effective way of resolving systemic blocks,. This often requires one session and may take place in a group process or private session..

Through resolutions it is possible to resett the ‘blue print’ of how we operate in life. A new inner world is formed from which new possibilities may arise.

In coming to resolve his systemic entanglement, Peter or his children would be able to see and feel where they are stuck. Through the constellation process, they would release the emotional components, find new perspectives and move on in taking any love and support with them into their lives.

From an epigentic perspective this provides the opportunity to heal personal wounds for yourself and pass on a clearer genetic ‘blue-print’ to your children.

I envisage a world where Systemic Constellation theory and practice is common place. So much so it is seen as everyone’s right and privilege to experience as required for resolving systemic blocks. Through this our family dynamics may become clearer in enabling healthier connections. This means more of us in a better connection with our roots, so that love and resources are available to us. This is a fertile place from which each of us has the opportunity to fulfil our potential as unique human beings and enhance our world.

I have been running Family Constellations workshops and private sessions since 2005 and offer training. For more information see www.familyconstellations.com.au

Yildiz is the founder of two psychotherapies, a clinical hypnotherapist, Family Constellations facilitator and educator/trainer and author of three books. Her latest book Rapid Core Healing Pathways to growth and emotional healing (2016). Yildiz lives and runs a private practice in Brisbane, Australia, travelling nationally and globally to train clinicians and run workshops for the general public.

Organisations involved in training or growth interested in courses or applications may contact me on yildiz@yildizsethi.com

These ideas are presented in her book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016)

Contact yildiz@yildizsethi.com

0412 172 300

Here is who I am www.yildizsethi.com and this is how you may engage in what I have to offer www.rapidcorehealing.com.

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Freedom to be you

images (24)A man presented with anxiety. He spent a great deal of time and money on a range of psychotherapies including psychologist treatments over the years, yet the anxiety persisted. Some of his practitioners had suggested that he might have been the victim of sexual abuse.

He came to a workshop. He said he had a normal childhood with good parents and had a fulfilling job and relationship. Yet nightmares and anxiety were his daily experience. In asking about his parents and grandparents, his grandfather on his mother’s side was involved in the Vietnam war. On returning from war he was a different man. He become a depressive, angry alcoholic. He withdrew and refused to share his experiences.

In the constellation his representative stood between his mother and grandfather. His representative expressed his anguish and extreme terror as the representative for grandfather looked away. In putting in a representative for the soldiers and the Vietnamese people including those who were killed, the representative for the grandfather fell to the ground weeping.

At this point Healing sentences were given and the grandfather offered his full allegiance to his dead comrades and the civilians he had been ordered to kill. He was able to see the political forces that were responsible for his conscription and orders to kill and leave their portion of guilt with them.

He was then able to turn to his family feeling a little lighter. For the first time he was able to see his daughter and grandson. In looking at his grandson he was able to offer his best wishes for a life of choices and freedom. He told hi he was taking care of the terror and guilt and asked him to move on and live well.

The constellation was put into a better order and the man was able to take his place and honour the destiny of his grandfather and move on feeling calm.

He was relieved to find that he had not been repressing sexual abuse and happy to find out more about his grandfather so that he could honour him in putting him to rest with some dignity.

For details of workshops in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane see

Contact yildiz@yildizsethi.com

Workshops 

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0412 172 300

These ideas are presented in my book Rapid Core Healing for Growth and Emotional Healing (2016)

Connection

alone-public-domain-images-free-stock-photos-high-quality-resolution-downloads-unsplash0071-1000x666-copyHow much connection is healthy?
How should we connect?

Good questions.
I like to consider human beings as being delivered into the world through parents, grandparents and great grandparents. We are born into ancestral consciousness or systemic consciousness. This holds a systemic memory of love, connection and support and is the vehicle through which life force is delivered.
It also holds loyalties, entanglements and trauma.

I believe that it is everyone’s right to disentangle and release themselves from inappropriate loyalties and trauma. Remain connected in a way that allows freedom and autonomy.

Systemic Constellation work is an ideal way to do this. Tap into the energy of the family system and resolve entanglements and trauma in a respectful way that give strength to all concerned.

See

Workshops

Training

Books

Rapid Core Healing